Published on October 3rd, 2012 | by Amna Al Haddad8
Goodbye Crossfit, Hello Weightlifting
In the past year I have reached and crossed mountains I doubted I was ever able to cross, and as I sit here and write this post a sense of deja vu lingers. Exactly a year ago I made a public announcement about starting to train in hopes I can compete in the Reebok Crossfit Games Asia Regional 2012 and with the re-launch of my blog, I come with some big news.
I did it.
I got the score that made me qualify. I made it to the airplane. Landed in another country for the first time in ages. I competed among the fittest in Asia. In just one workout – that was my goal.
Part of me still can’t comprehend I made it that far, but I always believed, with all my heart, that I have what it takes to fight through the mental doubts, negative self-talk, physical agony to make it. I made it. Despite all odds. I achieved my goal.
A few months ago I got to thinking as a result of some incidents. Those incidents got me soul-searching. Badger myself with questions. Wallow in some tears, even. I decided to take a step back, assess the situation and make one final decision. After eating that “emotional salad“, I’ve made up my mind and focus on my real goal, my next big step. I decided it’s time for me to leave Crossfit as my choice of sport.
It was a heavy decision to make (forget the weight I lift! It was much much heavier.)
I invested a lot of time in Crossfit. I made amazing amount of progress from not knowing how to skip to doing double-unders; from not being able to squat to squatting more than my bodyweight for reps, ATG; from never doing a handstand in my LIFE to doing handstand pushups and repping them; and winning 2nd place in a local crossfit competition to name a FEW… I grew as a person and as an athlete through my first experience in real “competitive sport.”
It changed me. For the better.
But it also created a hole in my mind.
What I haven’t mentioned is…the doubts. The doubts that kept nagging at the back of my head – from my light bodyweight in heavy workouts; from the lack of certainty of where I stand (all the time); from the lack of bodyweight categories; the questioning of if lifting only 1 additional kilo in a squat is considered a PR; to questioning myself if I ever had a shot at Regionals again in 2013.
The questions, the questions, the questions…
They made me realize I achieved what I aimed for and the constant doubt meant one thing. My heart is somewhere else.
To have continued doing Crossfit for another year would have hampered my progress in what I aim for to achieve in four years.
I had my moment with Crossfit. I said I will, I cried, I doubted, I stood up, I fell on my face, I told myself I can, and I did.
It had nothing to do with me making history for the UAE, either. That happened as a domino effect of my sheer determination of wanting to achieve something for “me,” as a person.
I do not, for a nano second, regret my Crossfit experience. It was amazing, mind-numbing, exciting, nerve-wrecking, emotional – it tapped into my potential and what I am capable of. That frightens me.
But it’s time to move on. As a result I have left my box Reebok Crossfit LifeSpark where I trained for a year and met great amount of people who I struck friendships with, created irreplaceable memories, and thanks to my coaches who helped me progress.
Now my eye is on a bigger goal, my ultimate destination as an athlete, the one I knew I wanted from the get-go – 2016 Olympics, in weightlifting. Therefore from now on and onwards my training will be specific toward developing me as an Olympic Weightlifter – one who is aiming for the gold.
In the past few weeks I have started training with my new coach from FAST , specialized in athletics training (more on that soon!). In our first training phase, we’re working on my structural balance – which is the foundation and will be the base of my strength that will develop me as an athlete who can use her body as one unit; and mostly importantly, the preventive measure from injuries in the future.
This is going to be one helluva journey for me. And here it starts.